Betrayal and Forgiveness

When a person suffers a physical injury, perhaps a broken bone or a deep wound or gash, everyone knows that it can take months for the healing on such injuries to be completed. Beyond the healing period, it could take up to a year or longer before residual pains and aches subside. That being the case, why is it that when someone suffers a deep emotional injury, everyone expects them to "get over it" and forgive. This is particularly true, I've found, among Christians.

They will tell you that you have to forgive and forget. People go about life as if nothing ever happened. It's easy to do that when you're the one who committed the crime or better still the one who's not involved but only heard the story as a third party. When you are the one who bears that burden (especially a deep personal hurt you can't describe with words), it takes the Lord helping you through.

I encourage you brethren, show some compassion. Christ was the picture of it. If we are to be Christlike, we need to toss the judgement and have a heart. Some of us forget what it's like to be on the receiving end of a major hurt. To hurt in a place aspirin and Tylenol can't touch. To agonize over feelings you can't seem to understand or, sometimes, control. To want to repay the offender but knowing you can't because 1)God said vengeance is His and 2)it's not in you, no matter how much they deserve it. To know the person is living life like they never did a thing and you are aching and still have yet to get past it, though you desperately want to (you know they don't deserve the attention, but the pain is real). Worse yet, to have the wound re-opened every time something occurs to remind you. It's like starting the process of forgiving over each time.

I imagine it must be pretty difficult for people trying to get through the hurt of infidelity and unfaithfulness. It's easy to separate or divorce because you won't have to face the one who stomped on your heart. Eventually, you get over it and achieve some semblance of forgiveness. Unfortunately, some become bitter. Our society supports an easy fix. Breaking up is hard, but easy.

But what about the ones who decide to stick it out and work through the pain. It's hard because everyday the wound can be reopened by the most inadvertent thing. Months and maybe years later, the person is the bad guy because they didn't "get over it" when in truth they are just trying to heal from the latest picked scab. They are working at forgiving the latest hurt.

If you're on the receiving end of forgiveness, please don't ever assume the position of making the person you hurt feel as if they have to forgive you, like they owe it to you. In God's eyes yes, but to you it's an extension of grace. Grace is what you don't deserve. You have no right to demand it.

And be considerate. The person is trying to work through feelings they don't like and are uncomfortable with. Be compassionate. You would appreciate the same.

The Bible says God throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness. I wish it were so easy for us. The truth is His ways are not our ways. We still have a way to go. I guess with practice we get better at forgiving.

It seems some hurts are easier to forgive. The ones that cut the deepest are the ones committed by those closest to us. Either way, I pray and know the Lord will give us help. We need it.

Christmastime Again!

I've had this blog for one year. I've succeeded in barely keeping it up and blogging on a less-than-regular basis. Is it a wonder I never sent those Christmas cards I spoke of in my first post?! LOL! Procrastination at its best! When I reread that post, I just laughed. I'm not perfect, I make myself laugh quite a bit. In that laughter, I realized something. I am an all around comedienne. I'm hilarious! I am a trip!

Some of you may not agree, but I know how to give myself a good belly rolling laugh. Who better to laugh at than yourself. I see humor in so many things and I just love that about myself. Now I do I have to reign myself in not to be mean or harsh. But I love laughter. It just feels so good! I am always listening for the next opportunity to laugh. Just a good guffaw! Makes life awesome. "A merry heart does good like medicine.." Proverbs 17:22. I'd rather laugh than down a pill. The side effects are all good! LOL!!!

ANYWAY....the real reason for this season of celebration is the precious, priceless gift of Jesus, the Christ. I hope all of you are able to receive that gift fully. Your life will be changed and transformed. You'll never be the same. He is indescribable. Merry Christmas to all of you and I pray you have an incredible, amazing, laughter-filled new year! God bless you.

Jesus is the real reason for the season.

Time

I've been thinking a lot lately about time. Primarily how I never seem to have enough. In today's world with so much going on and so much to do, we never seem to have enough time. Time to ponder, think, unwind....breathe. I realize, for me, that I tend to bite off more than I can chew. I love doing things. Yet when I have no choice but to sit still (like if I'm sick), I go batty. Why is that?


In the middle of all that truth, I find that I still long for simpler times, where I had time to lie on the grass and watch the clouds go by, naming their shapes OR whistle on a blade of grass. But the truth of all of this is that I realize we (people) tend to want what we don't have. When I was young and had time to loaf, I longed to be out on my own doing things. Now that I am, I want to slow down. But I know the Word and it lets me know to be content wherever I am. So back to this issue of time.

My last post was in mid-August. After that I had two weddings (I'm a wedding planner) and started a 12-week course at the local CC. No wonder I have little time! LOL! Thankfully, the class ended and Christmas is coming. More to do. LOL! But I have had the opportunity to slow down these last few days. I realized that I do have time. Even when I'm hustling along. I have time. What I do with it is what counts.

I'll use this time to thank God. He deserves so much credit for the great things I've been privileged to witness. Thank You Lord!

Sorry for the delay!

Ok, so it's been a minute since my last post. Life and work has crowded so much of my attention. But enough time has passed and, alas, I must get back on the wagon. Life is great because Jesus is great and I am grateful. So much has happened over the last few months. It would be very difficult to summarize except to say that Jesus is, indeed, great. All glory belongs to my heavenly Father.

Work is slowing down a bit. So I know I'll have more time to post and express myself. In the meantime, the Lord's blessing to everyone. See you on the blogosphere!

Children Say the Funniest Things!

This is the first of what I expect will continue over time. Sharing the funny and peculiar things my children and other children I know say:

Children say the darndest things:

I was eating and said something random. A hiccup caught me mid chew and thank God I was ok. My youngest wisely chimes in “That’s why you shouldn’t talk with your mouth full.”

My husband was dropping the children off at school on a particularly cold day. Because he was dressed a little too light for the weather that day, he was rushing them out of the car saying, “It’s cold!! Hurry up!!” My darling child was taking her sweet time getting out of the car. She looked at him and said, “if you knew it was cold, why did you dress like that?”

What can you say when the truth is laid before you?

How to make a red light turn green

I have noticed that whenever I am stopped at a red traffic light, nothing turns it green faster than me looking for something in my bag. I'm usually shaken into the realization that it's red by the annoyed driver behind me leaning on his/her horn. Why does that happen? I have sat in more than my share of red lights that seemed to last forever! Yet when I suddenly need to find the bottle of hand sanitizer or my phone, lights just turn green like that! It's like a new Murphy's law: when you're not in a hurry, every light turns green.

I think I'm getting this trend. When I'm in a hurry, I’ll start composing a text message. Green light.

God is good.

A little over a week ago, my husband surprised me with a birthday party. I'm still 30-something, just higher in the decade. :-) It was really a wonderful affair. Family and friends came out to wish me well and thank God for another year. Words cannot express my gratitude. I am very blessed with a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a family I treasure and true and good friends. What more can a girl ask for?

Being the human that I am, I'm sure I could think of a few things. This flesh never seems to be satisfied. Yet, what's it all for? There are so many "things" I want. But the question I must ask myself is will it bring me joy, peace or fulfillment? More importantly, is it God's will for my life? Is it in His plan. Pardon me if I get too deep, but when I think of some of the things I want, it is rather comical:

A nice body. I mean really, what for? I'm married with children and I'm not someone who wears revealing clothes. Yet, I would love to look good in a bathing suit.

Higher pay. There is a whole volume of blogs behind this topic. Let's be real everyone wants more money. Poor people, middle class people and greedy AIG execs (I had to go there, LOL!). But I could use a raise.

Naturally black hair. I have been growing gray hair for several years now and I AM JUST TOO YOUNG FOR THAT!!!!

These things are a bit superficial. But there are things I want that are deeper:

A quiet spirit. It's definitely something Godly to desire. Sometimes I wish I could just be a quiet person. Not that I am all chatty and everything, but I guess we always want to be what we're not.

I want to please God. Yet it seems the more I try, the less I do. I'm grateful for His grace. I don't have to compete for His love or salvation. Yet, sometimes, it seems that everything in me is contrary to what God loves or appreciates. There are people I know with the qualities I admire as Godly. I don't always see myself as being on level with them.

To do work in a career that has my heart. Don't get me wrong. I like my job and what I do. I'm grateful to have one. But it's my job. My mother doesn't understand that because she sees it as a career. But I guess I want more.

Truth be known, I want to be perfect in every way. It's such a vain pursuit when one considers the perfection of God and how much He has made available to us. Frankly, it's rather daunting to think of what it would take to make me perfect."...Vanity of vanity, all is vanity" (Ecclesiastes 1:2).

When I ponder on God's love and faithfulness, I realize He doesn't love me less because I'm not perfect. I am so grateful for that. And he has blessed me so mightily that the fact is whether or not any of these things happen in my life I will forever praise and thank Him.

Go back to the top of this post. My husband, my children, my family, my friends and most of all my God. What can I say? I have it all. Thank You so, so much Lord.

Pump up the Volume? NOT!

Doctor's visits are a real toss these days. Why do they give you an appointment of 11:45, have you sit there forever and see you at one o'clock? Why didn't they just say come at one? Or better yet sign in by 11:45 and come back at one.

I know many would say they can't tell exactly when you'll be seen. But still. Sometimes it’s work sitting in those waiting rooms.

Recently, I sat in my doctor’s office patiently waiting to see the doctor. The waiting room was full. There were a few bugs going around and people filled the place coughing, sneezing etc. Now there are certain places where an ‘inside’ voice is appropriate: sitting on a commuter train, standing in an elevator and sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room. The only people I know who don’t get the concept of ‘inside’ versus ‘outside’ voice are children. (I have never understood why people tell children to talk in their inside voice. Their voices are all the same volume: LOUD!!)

There were a couple of people who apparently thought their ‘outside’ voice was necessary to communicate. They proceeded to discuss various topics. Now my doctor’s office is large and the waiting room is a good size. But when people are talking to each other like someone on a cell phone with a bad signal, the rest of us are subjected to the pain of having to endure their uninteresting conversation. It was not cool.

I texted one of my friends about the whole ordeal. It got to a point where I wanted to run out of there. Mind you, I was on the one hour until your real appointment schedule. So I sat. I couldn’t distinguish between the pain that brought me to the doctor’s office and the pain I was experiencing in being trapped and forced to endure these people’s conversation. On top of all that, the battery power on my MP3 player was gone. Aaarrrggghhhh!

At last, the nurse called my name and sweet salvation. I was free of the outside voice talking adults with no volume control. Thank you!

Birds fly south for Spring? My take on the weather.

I was driving this evening heading east on the highway. I saw a huge flock of birds flying south. It is now March 3rd. Granted it's just too cold. But winter is almost over. Thank God.

Let me digress a bit. I am not a cold-weather person. I am so tropical it's ridiculous. Give me 90-degree high humidity day I will sweat, complain a little, cool off in the AC, go out again and have a ball. But today it was 18 degrees when I left the house this morning. And windy. That wind is like insult to injury. The only good thing about cold weather to me is staying warm. When I get cold, like today, the cold gets into my bones and it takes a while to warm up. I'd rather cool off than warm up.

It is said that March comes in like a lion. It came in roaring yesterday with a snowstorm. Great way to start the work week. Anyway, it became horribly cold since then. Fortunately, they're predicting 60+ degrees this weekend. I hope they're right. We all know how that can go.

So I'm driving on the highway, enjoying the fact that at 6pm the sun is just going down. Then I hear on radio that daylight savings is this weekend and that I and all affected by it will lose an hour's sleep. Great! I still owe myself at least three.

ANYWAY, as I'm enjoying the dusk of the day, I see this flock of birds heading south (I know it was south because I was headed east and south was to my right. I have a great sense of direction). There were hundreds of them. I guess they figured winter was just starting with this crazy cold air. They're confused. Like the rest of us who thought, surely some sign of spring would begin to show by now. For goodness sake, it's March!

Actually, those birds have the right idea. The Bahamas sound pretty good about now.

20-Minute Workout

So I have decided to workout. THIS time, I'm starting slow and building my endurance. In times past, I'd hit the ground running and burn out quickly. But I'm determined to start fresh, change my lifestyle and live better. I have people around me inspiring and encouraging me. Besides 20 minutes is not a lot of time. I believe this is going to be good. But snack time, runs into my efforts.

I have a sweet tooth. I admit it. Admission is the first step to recovery. I like sweets. I'm working at it. I have succeeded in not drinking a soda in the last 10 days. Every day that goes by is another day I succeed at numbing the sweet tooth. But tonight, I had a bit of slip up.

Well maybe not a slip up but as my friend said, I was driving up my energy levels for that oh-so-intense workout. I had some vanilla Oreo cookies. They are so good! I figured I'd eat one. But one turned to three. Yet to show how good I am at multi-tasking, I munched the cookies, downed 8 ounces of water, texted one of my girls and watched one of my favorite wedding shows all while working out for 20 minutes on the treadmill. Wow.

I walked .85 of a mile. I burned 132 calories. The cookies were 170. I owe myself 38 calories. Hmmm...I guess I'll make it a point to run to the train or bus tomorrow. You have to give it to me for making the best use of my time. LOL! The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

President Barack Obama!

I can honestly say that I never thought I'd ever see this day. I am, as my blog title states, 30-something. I was born during the post-Civil Rights period of American History. I didn't march on Washington or do sit-ins in Selma. I grew up to inherit the immediate results of the movement. I grew up knowing I had the right to vote and attending integrated schools. I celebrated Black History month and cheered the achievements of blacks in every arena on every level. I was raised to believe that I could do and/or be anything. Yet, I never thought that in my time I would ever see a black president.

Words cannot explain the joy and excitement I feel, coupled with the sadness of knowing so many who went before me who were unable to live to see this day. My father included. But it reminds me of Abraham who hoped against hope and believed God though he did not see the fruit of what he believed in his lifetime. He was counted among the champions of faith in the book of Hebrews. In that remembrance, I am comforted and eternally grateful.

Like Obama, I stand on the shoulders of so many who went before me so that I may have the opportunities I enjoy. I don't take it lightly or for granted. I glorify Almighty God for privileging me to live at this time in history. I pray I will please God in all I do and honor the lives and memories of those who paved the way. I pray that the wisdom of God will guide and direct me for His purpose. I pray this husband, my children, my family and our generations. I pray this, also, for my president, Barack Obama. Halleluia!!!

Strange Things I Like

I was thinking of weird things I like. I hope this will encourage others to share their strange likes. I like empty trash cans. I know this is strange. But I do. In my house, when the trash bag in the trashcan is full, everyone tends to push everything down until it can’t take anymore. Then you have hustle to pull the trash bag out of the trashcan hoping it doesn’t burst before it’s removed. The bag inevitably becomes too heavy and you just hope it doesn’t burst before the trash truck comes for a pickup tomorrow.

Yet after all the heaving and sweating and huffing and struggling to remove the overstuffed bag, another clean, unused bag is put in its place. It’s empty. The trashcan runs deep. When you drop an article of trash into the receptacle, it disappears to the bottom. Aaahhh! Space is a beautiful thing! I really like empty trashcans.

One would think that we’d remove a nearly full trash bag before it overflows, if for no other reason than to accelerate getting to an empty trashcan, but that would be too easy. What weird things do you like?